Facing an impeachment investigation by Congress and embroiled in the political fight of his life, President Trump has suggested that he may appeal directly to the American people via a “fireside chat”. I think that's a splendid idea, and I have therefore taken the liberty of revising a famous presidential speech (from March 4, 1987) which could serve Trump well should he opt for a modified limited hang out. 1
My fellow Americans:
I've spoken to you from this historic office on many occasions and about many things. The power of the Presidency is often thought to reside within this Oval Office. Yet it doesn't rest here; it rests in you, the American people, and in your trust. Your trust is what gives a President his powers of leadership and his personal strength, and it's what I want to talk to you about this evening.
For the past three months day or two few minutes, I've been silent on the revelations about Ukraine. And you must have been thinking, "Well, why doesn't he tell us what's happening?" "Why doesn't he just tweet to us as he has in the past when we've faced troubles or tragedies?" “Can that possibly be his real hair?” Others of you, I guess, were thinking, "What's he doing hiding out at Mar-a-Lago?" “Why does Melania always look so unhappy?” Well the reason I haven't spoken to you before now is this: You deserve the truth, and I didn’t want you to have it. And as frustrating as the waiting has been, I felt it was improper to come to you with sketchy reports, or possibly even erroneous statements, which would then have to be corrected, creating even more doubt and confusion. There's been enough of that, and it’s starting to catch up with me.
Let me say I take full responsibility for my own actions and for those of my Administration. As angry as I may be about activities undertaken without my knowledge, mostly by Rudy Giuliani, I am still accountable for those activities. As disappointed as I may be in some who served me, I'm still the one who must answer to the American people for Rudy Giuliani’s behavior. And as personally distasteful as I find secret bank accounts and diverted funds -- well, as the Navy would say, this happens all the time. Get over it.
Let's start with the part that is the most controversial. A few weeks ago, I told the American people I did not withhold military aid from the Ukraine so that the Ukrainian government would dig up dirt on Joe Biden. My heart and my best intentions still tell me that's true; but the facts and the evidence tell me it is not. 2 So, damn the facts and the evidence.
What began as support for the beleaguered Ukraine, deteriorated in its implementation into trading American military aid for my personal political gain. This runs counter to my own public statements, to Administration propaganda, to what my friends at Fox News keep saying, and to the original strategy Congress had in mind. There are reasons why it happened, but no excuses. It was a mistake, and it’s Rudy Giuliani’s fault. The buck stops there.
It's clear from testimony before Congress that I let my personal concern for getting re-elected spill over into the geopolitical strategy of supporting Ukraine. I asked so many questions about Joe Biden, his son Hunter, and the missing DNC server where Crooked Hillary’s emails are stored, that I didn't ask enough about the specifics of the Ukraine situation. Also, I trusted Rudy Giuliani too much. I’ve always been a very trusting person.
Much has been said about my management style, a style that's worked successfully for me in building my magnificent real-estate empire, in becoming the world’s greatest reality tv star, and in winning an historic electoral victory in 2016 against Crooked Hillary, Lying Jim Comey, the lovers Strzok and Page, and the Fake News media. The way I work is, I use my very good brain to identify the problem, I figure out what’s in it for me, I hire Rudy Giuliani, let him find the right individuals to do the job, and then let them go to it while I maintain plausible deniability, never put anything in writing, and never let anyone get a look at my financials. I've found this invariably keeps me out of jail; at least, it has so far.
Yesterday I met with the entire professional staff of the National Security Council, most of them Never Trumpers. I defined for them the values I want to guide the national security policies of this country and to ensure my re-election. I told them that I wanted a policy that was as justifiable and understandable in public as it was in secret, where it would have remained if it weren’t for that treasonous whistleblower. I wanted a policy that reflected the will of the Congress as well as of the White House, and that promotes my own personal interests. And I told them that there'll be no more freelancing by individuals other than Rudy Giuliani when it comes to our national security.
One thing still upsetting me, however, is that no one kept proper records of meetings or decisions. This led to my failure to recollect whether I demanded the Ukrainian investigation into Joe Biden in exchange for military aid before or after I spoke to Putin about it. I did demand it. I just can't say specifically when. Well rest assured, there's plenty of recordkeeping now going on at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, as well as plenty of document-shredding.
Now, what should happen when you make a mistake is this: You take your knocks; you learn your lessons, you find someone to blame, and then you move on. That's the healthiest way to deal with a problem. This in no way diminishes the importance of the other continuing investigations into my administration’s unprecedented corruption, but the business of our country and our people and my personal aggrandizement must proceed. I've gotten this message from Democrats in Congress, from former allies around the world who don’t trust us anymore, and -- if we're reading the signals right -- even from President Putin. And of course, I've heard the message from you, the American people, because, trust me, I have the very best ears and the very best hearing.
You know, by the time you reach my age, you've made plenty of mistakes. Or so I’m told; I’ve never personally made any mistakes. And if you've lived your life properly, so you learn. You put things in perspective. You pull your energies together. You find a scapegoat and throw him to the wolves. You get rid of the deadweight and the Deep State traitors, you punish your enemies, and you move on.
My fellow Americans, I have a great deal that I want to accomplish with you and for you and despite you and without your knowledge or consent over the next twelve years. And the Lord willing, that's exactly what I intend to do, because Article II of the Constitution gives me absolute power to do anything I want for as long as I want.
Good night, and I wish all of you the best of luck in your future endeavors. MAGA!
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The original of this inspiring speech is at: https://americanrhetoric.com/speeches/ronaldreaganirancontraspeech.htm
1 “Modified limited hang out” is classic Nixonian jargon; see https://theruggedindividualist.wordpress.com/2016/09/13/modified-limited-hangout/
2 Bill Clinton should have borrowed this as well: "A few weeks ago I told you that I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky. My heart and my best intentions still tell me that's true; but the facts and the evidence tell me it is not."
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