Today I have thoughts: cogito, ergo this blog.
Musical accompaniment to this post: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Id_iVOf8nWU
No one should be surprised at President Trump’s refusal to wear any sort of protective facial covering during the COVID-19 “pandemic”. Safety is for girls and socialists, and since the president is a man and a swashbuckling capitalist, he will not cower behind a mask. 1 You would as soon expect the leader of the free world to wear a protective mask as you would expect a football player to wear a helmet or a medieval knight to wear armor.
President Trump has been the picture of consistency when it comes to his manly flouting of “safety” prescriptions. Here are just a few of the supposedly “required” or “recommended” things the president refuses to use:
- A seat belt when in an automobile
- A helmet when riding a bicycle 2
- A life jacket when on a naval vessel
- A parachute when skydiving
- Goggles when welding
- A protective cup inside his athletic supporter
- Hazmat gear when fighting a zombie apocalypse
- PPE when volunteering as a firefighter
- A spacesuit when engaged in extravehicular activities in space
- Body armor when deployed to a combat zone
- A condom (allegedly)
- Protective lenses when staring at an eclipse
- Bottled oxygen when climbing Mount Everest
- Safety harness when working on high-rise scaffolding
- Ear protection when using a jackhammer
- An apron when fixing a delicious home-cooked meal 3
- Carabiners when rock climbing
- A gas mask when under WMD attack
- Oven mitts or potholders when removing items from a hot oven or stove
- Common sense
You get the picture: Donald Trump is a man with no fear of running with scissors. “Danger” is his middle name. As were all presidents (but one) before him, he is an excellent role model for America’s children. 4 Now, please excuse me while I show my toddler the right way to inject himself with disinfectant.
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1 There are obvious exceptions--Batman, Spiderman, the Masked Marvel, the Lone Ranger, Zorro—but they only prove the rule. Anyway, shut up.
2 In fairness, Donald Trump cannot ride a bicycle, so the safety issue is moot.
3 The "apron effect" is basically the equivalent of castration; see Jim Backus in "Rebel without a Cause".
4 For further explanation, please consult either R.R. “Rusty” Reno (at First Things) or David Marcus (at The Federalist), both of whom have been outspoken defenders of President Trump’s fearlessness.
Wish he’d go skydiving, then....
Posted by: Ann Markle | 05/14/2020 at 05:43 PM